


Sea of Stars

by lettersinpetals



Series: One More Chance [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Farmer Kita Shinsuke, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Oblivious Kita Shinsuke, OsaKita are married and didn't realize, Past Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Past Suna Rintarou/Miya Osamu, Slow Burn, kita gets his happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersinpetals/pseuds/lettersinpetals
Summary: Kita Shinsuke was briefly blinded by Miya Atsumu, but in the wake of heartbreak, he realizes that he fell for the wrong twin — Osamu had been right beside him this whole time.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: One More Chance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899325
Comments: 33
Kudos: 454





	Sea of Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to...
> 
> In this fic we thirst after Atsumu but we STAN OSAMU
> 
> This is a sequel to "One More Chance." But I guessss it can also be a standalone, though you prob won't understand the context in some parts. In any case, hope you like it!

**Part 1: How It All Started**

No one could ever accuse Kita Shinsuke of being irrational.

He was a man whose life was defined by routines, who was most satisfied when he knew that he did things just right and in the proper order. It was why he had taken to farming. He enjoyed putting in repetitive effort into something with the expectation that it would bloom and grow under his care.

It was the basic principle of causality. Whenever an _x_ occurs, a _y_ must follow.

When he saw Miya Atsumu stumble out of an izakaya and crash to the floor, disrupting the hometown that Shinsuke knew like the back of his hand, a part of him immediately recognized that an _x_ had occurred.

Now, Shinsuke did not like breaks in routine, because they inevitably set off a chain of unforeseen effects. But a part of him did get curious each and every time, always watching in rapt attention to what happened next.

When Miya Atsumu kissed him in a haze of drunkenness and misery, Shinsuke’s universe spun wildly for a second, the unexpected gesture shocking him to the core. He reacted impulsively for the first time in the longest time.

Later, after he had called Osamu and dragged Atsumu to the twins’ shared apartment, he gazed at sunken cheeks, swollen eyes, and lifeless blonde hair.

Miya Atsumu was back. What was to follow?

\--

Heartache followed.

It was difficult to watch Atsumu, who had once been full of life and boundless energy, walk around like the shell of a human being. There was an inherent sadness in him now, clear to see in the way he would stare off into space as if he wasn’t really there.

Shinsuke was helpless to resist the pull. His hands itched to move, to fix it. Give it enough time, and care, and effort, and almost anything can be fixed. Shinsuke believed that.

And Miya Atsumu simply needed to be fixed. Shinsuke didn’t think the universe would be the same if he were to just blink out like a light.

He told himself that everything he did from that point on was to prevent a worse _x_ to occur. By helping Atsumu return to normal, everything would return to rights.

But something happened that Shinsuke could never have predicted.

To see one’s vulnerability is to see the person hiding within. He felt like for the first time since he’d known Atsumu, now that there was no blinding spotlight and no more smoke screens, he was finally seeing him for who he really was.

And Kita Shinsuke fell in love.

He didn’t think that his heart would be one of the _y_ ’s.

\--

Osamu was worried about him. His eyes kept flicking between Shinsuke and Atsumu, and he’d frown.

Never one to avoid awkward conversations, he sat by the counter in Osamu’s kitchen while the other man was cooking.

“What’s wrong, Osamu?” He already knew what it was about.

Osamu paused in his stirring. Then he proceeded to cook without answering.

Shinsuke waited patiently. Once Osamu finished the meal, he leaned his elbows on the counter in front of Shinsuke.

“You know he’s still in love with Sakusa, right?”

“That is very clear, yes.”

“Then what are you doing, Kita? This isn’t like you.”

On the contrary, fixing things and making them bloom is very like Shinsuke. But what he said was, “I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve never been one to hesitate or hide away. You’re going to confess, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “I’m waiting for the right time.”

Osamu rubbed at his eyes. “I hate to tell you this, really, but there is no right time. The thing with Sakusa...it’s different.”

“It was a failed relationship. People recover from them every day. Atsumu just needs time. I can help him, Osamu.”

“He is not your responsibility anymore, Cap.”

“That’s not why,” he denied. “I...I love him.”

“Why now?”

“People fall in love in the most unexpected times, do they not?”

“Yeah, but not you.” Osamu shook his head. “You know what, you both are grown ass men, do what you want.”

He took that as a good enough blessing as any.

When Atsumu accepted his confession, Shinsuke’s stomach filled with butterflies, and he finally understood what the fuss was all about.

_So this is what being in love felt like._

\--

They were pretty happy for over a month, smiling and blushing at each other as February melted into March. Sure, Atsumu was careful around him, and sometimes distant, but Shinsuke told himself he just needed to give him more time, to put in more effort.

And then in April, they moved to Tokyo to get ready for Onigiri Miya’s opening.

Shinsuke didn’t realize how seamlessly he’d embedded himself in the twins’ lives until he followed them to the busy city.

He also didn’t realize until too late that the move was another _x_. And that inevitably, a _y_ would occur.

Osamu had warned both Shinsuke and Atsumu that he would be tapping Sakusa Kiyoomi for Onigiri Miya’s campaign. The man had a huge fanbase, and he was technically a model who had sponsors and endorsements and ads — but what he really wanted was the buzz that would no doubt be generated over the campaign. Sakusa doing an ad for Onigiri Miya, when the public had (rightfully) assumed that he’d broken up with Miya Atsumu? It was just what they needed to announce the arrival of Onigiri Miya in Tokyo.

Whatever apprehension Shinsuke felt at this proposal was soothed by the way Atsumu nonchalantly shrugged and said, “I’m fine with it, if he’s fine with it. It’s all in the past, anyway. Besides, I probably know his best angles, so shooting it would be a breeze, right?”

Shinsuke smiled at him, proudly. Atsumu had come so far in the past year. There was a time he’d flinch at Sakusa’s name, but now he didn’t even blink.

Everything was going to be fine.

\--

And then everything went wrong and it started with a phone call. Or maybe it started the moment he woke up and there was no _Happy monthsary, Kita._

They were sitting around in the still closed shop, waiting for Sakusa to arrive for his solo shoot. The first shoot with the group went well, as Atsumu had told him. “Nothing to write home about,” were his exact words to Shinsuke.

Still, Shinsuke was undeniably curious. He wanted to meet Sakusa, so he was sure to come to this one. Osamu had given him an unreadable glance when he volunteered to help out.

The unfamiliarity of the ringtone cut through the air and seized Shinsuke’s attention immediately. He had heard Atsumu’s phone ring plenty of times, when Osamu would call him, or when Atsumu would use Shinsuke’s phone to call his whenever he misplaced it.

His ringtone was the standard iPhone call alert. Definitely not Selena Gomez’s “Love You Like A Love Song,” which Shinsuke only knew because Atsumu made him listen to it, saying that it was one of his most favorite songs ever.

He watched Atsumu jerk in place, startled by the sound, and automatically reach for his phone. “Omi?”

Shinsuke’s heart dropped into his stomach. _He still calls him Omi?_

Then, _He still has his number saved._

And, _I suppose that was their song._

The phone call was brief. But before Shinsuke could even ask, Atsumu was already moving.

“Hey, you have an umbrella in here somewhere, right, Samu?” Then Atsumu spotted it near the door. “Oh, there. I’ll be right back!”

And then he was gone.

The ensuing silence was damning. Shinsuke glanced at Osamu, who was stoically staring at a wall, refusing to meet his gaze.

Something was suddenly clear to Kita, something that he had forgotten in all the years that passed since high school, and it was this: Miya Osamu was also a jerk.

And like Atsumu, he had it in himself to be cruel.

When Shinsuke thought it was about time that Atsumu and Sakusa arrived, he stood up silently and went to grab a clean hand towel. Then he stood by the clear glass doors and waited.

In the near distance, he spotted them. They weren’t talking. In fact, they both seemed lost in their heads. Still, Atsumu kept the umbrella high, making sure it covered Kiyoomi no matter how they moved. Atsumu’s left shoulder was splattered with raindrops.

It looked effortless for them to keep pace with each other.

When Sakusa hurried in, shaking off what little raindrops clung to him, Shinsuke handed him a towel. The other man jerked his head up and stared at him as if he had no idea who Shinsuke was.

Then Atsumu greeted him, and upon hearing his name, Sakusa’s eyes focused on him sharply. He looked at Shinsuke from head to toe.

The gesture irritated Shinsuke and he took pleasure in kissing Atsumu right in front of him. They weren’t even apart for long. It was a statement.

He was heartened by the way Atsumu held his waist and kissed his cheek. Sakusa watched every gesture of affection with heavy attention, something building behind his inky black eyes.

From behind Sakusa, Osamu met Shinsuke’s gaze. Then he shook his head and disappeared into the kitchen.

Atsumu said, “C’mon, Omi-Omi, we’re all set up over here. I know you hate onigiri but you’re going to have to pretend to eat it and like it, dammit.”

_He calls him Omi-Omi._

What followed was the most uncomfortable and heart-wrenching hour of Shinsuke’s young life.

He watched as Atsumu’s attention narrowed to only include Sakusa. The two bickered and joked and _laughed_. He didn’t realize until then that he hadn’t heard Atsumu laugh since seeing him again. Just making him smile was nearly impossible, and when he did it never reached his eyes.

He was horrified to see that Atsumu _doted_ on Sakusa. Shinsuke wanted to shake him and say, _that’s a grown man, you don’t need to baby him_. But Sakusa acted like this was expected, like of course Atsumu would take his coat, and of course Atsumu would put away the towel. Of course Atsumu would jump and come pick him up with just his say-so.

And Sakusa _bloomed_ under Atsumu’s attention. He relaxed, and slowly left his shell, and _oh_. Shinsuke suddenly understood the appeal. Sakusa was handsome, that he knew, but when he smiled at Atsumu, it was no wonder Atsumu fell for him.

Osamu returned, carrying a plate of onigiri and a soda. For a moment, he too just hovered and watched them, something sad in his expression. He had to get really close to them before they were alerted to his presence.

Then the photoshoot finally started. Shinsuke privately thought that Atsumu didn’t need to take that many “test shots” of Sakusa, but who knows, perhaps he did need them.

After a while, it started becoming too uncomfortable for Shinsuke to bear. He thought of making an excuse so he could leave, but then —

Atsumu touched Sakusa’s moles on the forehead and every person in the room froze. Shinsuke inhaled deeply as he watched his boyfriend stroke Sakusa’s hair back, slowly, like he was cherishing the moment. One would think the experience was sublime, based on the look on Atsumu’s face.

And then Atsumu smiled, fond and real and content.

And Kita closed his eyes, unable to watch anymore.

He felt a heavy stare on his face and he turned his head to meet Osamu’s gaze. Shinsuke was not an irrational person, but he felt an irrational urge to hit Osamu and demand, _Why did you do this?_

But Osamu’s expression wasn’t smug or knowing or anything he expected it to be. It was pained, sorrowful even, like he understood everything at a deeper level than anyone else did.

It occurred to Shinsuke that Osamu was the one person in this room that knew every single one of them best.

And Osamu looked like the knowledge was hurting him.

Shinsuke sighed and prepared himself for the process of letting go.

\--

Shinsuke was never irrational. He was a man who followed cold logic, and he did things that needed to be done, no matter how unpleasant it is. 

He knew when to cut his losses. He knew when to swipe away the dead crops and set the ground for a fresh new set of seeds.

The thing with growing rice was that there were many factors that worked against it. A drought would no doubt kill every single crop. A flood would drown them. Pests would damage them.

But the thing with rice was that it was resilient. Just give it enough water that the ground won’t crack and it will grow. But the moment the ground cracked, squeezing the life out of the stalks, it was over. All the growing it did was useless. There was no saving it — the only thing to do was to permanently kill it, start over, and replace it.

Shinsuke knew this. He knew he should never have tried to water a wilting plant, when the reason the plant was wilting was its very foundation.

Still, it hurt. But he only had himself to blame. Whenever an _x_ occurs, a _y_ must follow. He thought his presence in Atsumu’s life _(x)_ could be the cause of Atsumu’s happiness _(y)_.

But he forgot that another cause can trigger the occurrence of _y_.

He forgot to factor in the existence of _z_.

He forgot to factor in Sakusa Kiyoomi.

\--

Hearing Atsumu apologize because he can’t ever love him was both painful and liberating. It wasn’t because Shinsuke wasn’t enough. It was simply because the event of him falling in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi preceded the event of him meeting Kita Shinsuke again. The chain of effects that defined, and will define, Miya Atsumu’s life had been set off years ago. And there wasn’t room for Shinsuke. He should never have tried to force himself in.

He had just enough dignity to walk away.

**Part 2: Starting Over Again**

It only took a few days of working on the farm for Shinsuke’s scattered feelings to settle.

He accepted that maybe he’d been arrogant thinking he himself would be the one to save Atsumu. Atsumu wasn’t the kind of person to depend on anyone to save him in the first place. If he was to heal, he was going to do it his damn self, and on his own terms.

Now that Shinsuke had taken a step back and recentered himself, he could find the sense in everything that had happened.

Seeing Atsumu and Sakusa together was like watching two planets orbit each other. Unable to help their movements, unable to ignore each other’s gravitational pull.

There are two theories of what could happen should two planets stray too close to each other: one, they collide, get ejected from their orbits, and get hurled into the central star.

But the other possibility? They could successfully share a single orbit together. And they stay like that indefinitely.

According to studies, this should only be possible if both planets are in equilibrium. They each need to be a perfect shape, with a perfect amount of gravity, with a perfect rotational direction.

Maybe the reason their relationship didn't work before was that they tripped out of orbit. But seeing both of them together again, each more stable by themselves...Shinsuke thought they just might make it this time around.

The thought didn’t hurt. The thought made him smile.

Of course Atsumu belonged to the sky. Shinsuke felt silly for thinking he could reach him.

But Atsumu need not be lonely anymore, because his partner planet was back in orbit.

And they _will_ stay like that indefinitely.

\--

He knocked on the door thrice.

For a while, nobody answered. Then the door opened to show Osamu.

“Oh, hey, Kita,” he looked surprised. It has been months after all since he broke up with Atsumu and left Tokyo. But when he heard that Osamu was back in Hyogo, he just had to come.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Osamu held the door open and stepped out of the way.

“Want something to eat?”

“Er, sure.”

He followed Osamu to the kitchen, and settled on the dining table.

Osamu served him a carefully made sandwich and some tea. Then he sat across from him.

“How’ve you been?” Osamu was studying him.

Shinsuke smiled at him in reassurance. “I’m fine.” When he didn’t look convinced, Shinsuke added, “Osamu, honestly, it was a two-month relationship. It’s been _six_ months since then.”

Osamu grinned sheepishly. “Well I wouldn’t know how deep your feelings went. And I guess I felt guilty for my part in all of it. I’m sorry, Kita. I didn’t mean to break your heart.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t — nobody did. I broke my own heart. And at first, I was upset with you, sure. But when I had time to think about it, I owe you my thanks, Osamu. You saved me from further heartbreak.”

“I — I’d feel better about that if I had nobler motives but...mostly I just really wanted to see, you know? Atsumu seemed like he was getting better, but when he started dating you it just...it was clear to me that his heart was someplace else. I needed to see if Omi-kun was the same way. And I thought, if your heart got broken along the way, then it was a kindness. But after, I just felt shitty. I should have talked to you.”

“You did. But I didn’t listen. Remember? It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. And I won’t say it didn’t hurt me, but now that I’m in a better place, I understand now. There was no getting in the way of those two. Not even them.”

Osamu startled out a laugh. “Well, you’re right about that.” He paused. “Do you think you could ever forgive Atsumu?”

It was endearing how Osamu still looked out for his twin. “Who do you think gave me your new address?”

Osamu blinked. Then he laughed again. “That bastard didn’t even warn me. Guess I got used to you just coming around, it didn’t even occur to me that you wouldn’t know this place.”

“Where is Atsumu anyway?” Based on his conversation with Atsumu, he was still in Hyogo, still wasn’t back with Sakusa, and still hadn’t gone back to the Jackals. But he was working on it.

“In the gym, training. He’s doing much better now. Healthier, more active. Almost in shape.”

“That’s good to hear. It was really strange seeing him all broken down.” Feeling suddenly wistful, he admitted, “Though when I first saw him again, I thought I was finally seeing the real Atsumu. But I was wrong. He was never meant to be that broken shell. He was just more reachable for me like that.”

Osamu leaned his cheek on his palm and gazed at Shinsuke. “It's alright, you know? There's no shame in it. I think everyone falls in love with my brother at some point in their lives. People are naturally attracted to bright things, aren't they?”

“I suppose…” He gazed at Osamu in turn. “Does that not bother you?”

“Hmm.” Osamu frowned as he thought. “When we were younger, it made me jealous, sure. But also, not really? Because as a person who had no choice but to love Atsumu his whole life, I get it. I know him better than I know myself, so really, I get it. And it’s not like he could help it. That’s just who he is. He has his own corner of the world, and I have mine.”

“And are you happy with your corner of the world?”

Osamu smiled and nodded his head. “I thought I would be lonely, after that breakup with Rin. But I’m good. I’m a bit sad that Atsumu will be leaving soon — don’t tell him — but it’s not like he’s going far. Otherwise, I’m content, yeah. I’ve learned that there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.”

Shinsuke stared at Osamu, considering his words. He shook his head and chuckled. “You two grew up. I can’t believe it.”

“Still the same people we’ve always been, Cap. Just older.”

\--

Maybe it was strange, but Shinsuke loved the slow passing of everyday life. His days weren’t exactly packed, or busy, or stressful, and that’s how he’d always wanted it. When he felt like working with his hands, he’d go to the farm. When he felt like learning something new, he’d crack open a book. When he felt like being entertained, he’d put on a movie. Sometimes he started new hobbies, like embroidery, or learning a new language, and converting his balcony into a mini greenhouse. He had a lot of time. Shinsuke loved living in it.

And when he felt like seeking companionship, he’d visit his parents and his grandmother in his childhood home. And most recently, he’d go to Osamu.

He didn’t know why. Unlike him, Osamu was busy at almost every hour of almost every day. He got up early to go on a run and work out, then prepare for his shop’s opening. Once it’s up and running, he was on his feet the whole day, cooking, preparing meals, serving, cleaning.

Still, Shinsuke would sometimes pop in the shop and commandeer a corner table, where he’d read his books. When it was a slow day, he’d watch Osamu carefully create onigiri with his hands. It fascinated him. And Osamu would always let him.

Something about Osamu was just comforting. Perhaps they could be alone-and-not-lonely together.

Shinsuke started tagging along with Osamu when he returned to his apartment, and then started just visiting him randomly on his day offs. It reached the point where Osamu finally told Shinsuke where he hid the spare key, so he could just enter whenever. He and the twins lived together at some point, anyway. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he missed them.

It was awkward at first, whenever Atsumu was there, because he kept acting like a dog with its tail behind its legs. Shinsuke finally put his foot down and told him to cut it out. “It’s been ages. Quit it.” Atsumu meekly said, “Okay.”

It was early January now, and the V. League season had not yet resumed. Atsumu has been all the internet could talk about since he posted a photo of himself with Sakusa, Hinata, and Bokuto on New Year’s Day. They hadn’t confirmed whether he was back in the team, but his reappearance in social media and the possibility of a comeback, excited many.

Seeing the return of blonde hair had sent a jolt in Shinsuke. He’d thought, “Yeah, that’s Atsumu, alright.” He thought the dark hair suited him, but seeing the photo made him realize the blonde fit his personality better.

Shinsuke still preferred dark hair, though.

He did know that Atsumu and Sakusa finally got together again on New Year’s. He got a little wistful hearing it, but mostly he was happy for them. They were never meant to stay apart. He understood that now.

Still, he wasn’t prepared for the day he entered the apartment to see them napping together in the kotatsu.

They looked at peace. Sakusa was on his back, head tilted towards Atsumu, who was curled on his side, pressed against him. Even in sleep, Atsumu had his arm firmly wrapped around Sakusa’s waist.

Shinsuke thought maybe he should leave, but he’d already told Osamu he was on his way here and that he’d cook. There was only so much onigiri he could take.

He decided to go ahead with his original plans. He went to the kitchen to set up.

He was waiting for the water to boil so he could start with the ramen, and he was by the counter checking the recipe again. From his vantage point, he could see the moment Sakusa started to stir. Unable to help himself, Shinsuke observed them.

Sakusa turned to gaze at Atsumu, bringing his hands to rest on his chest. Then he slid one up to rest on Atsumu’s shoulder and started to shake him gently awake.

Atsumu’s eyes fluttered, but before he was even fully awake, he was pulling Sakusa in and nuzzling at his face.

“We fell asleep,” Sakusa murmured.

Atsumu just started pressing kisses on his face, and Shinsuke figured this was awkward enough. He cleared his throat.

The two jerked in surprise at the noise and their gazes landed on Shinsuke who was holding a phone and a pack of noodles.

Atsumu pushed himself up to his elbow, looking like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Kita, hey. Uh, what are you doing here?”

He waved the pack of noodles. “Making dinner. Osamu and I were just going to have a movie marathon. You two are free to join us, of course.”

“Oh?” Atsumu tilted his head as he studied Shinsuke. There was a calculated, almost amused look in his eyes. “We were going to crash here, so you have no choice but to include us, actually.”

Sternly, he said, “Mind your cheek, Miya 2.”

“Wait, why am I Miya 2? _I_ should be Miya 1!”

Sakusa was regarding him with an unreadable expression. He didn’t seem angry, at least. Not like before, when Shinsuke kissed Atsumu and Sakusa looked at him like he committed an unforgivable crime. Now Sakusa looked at him like he knew he'd won, but he still didn’t appreciate Shinsuke competing. He turned and wrapped an arm around Atsumu as if saying, _That’s enough, pay attention to me, now._

And Atsumu did. Full attention captured, just like that. He wrapped himself around Sakusa and started pressing kisses on every place he could reach.

 _I get it, Sakusa-san,_ Shinsuke thought drily. _No need to rub the salt in the wound._

But it hurt less than Shinsuke imagined.

He continued making the ramen, wondering what time Osamu was coming home. Wondered what he’d think of all this. He’d probably gag and complain about having to watch Atsumu and Sakusa be “gross, in front of my ramen. Really?”

The thought made him smile.

He was relieved when the door opened, and Osamu’s voice called out, “Kita?”

“Kitchen,” he called back.

He heard when Osamu said, “What are you two doing here? Gross, get out and be sappy elsewhere.”

Atsumu said, “This is still partially my apartment, you know! I still pay for it!”

“You’re free to stop, you live in the Black Jackals’ complex again anyway.”

“But this way I get to bug you anytime I want.”

“You’d do that no matter what, anyway.”

Sighing, Kita finally called out, “Can you two stop? Osamu, come help me serve this.”

Osamu entered the kitchen, cap and apron nowhere to be seen. “Sorry,” he said, smiling sheepishly. The sight gave him a strange kind of feeling.

They did quick work of finishing up the meal. There was something fascinating about the clean, efficient way that Osamu served food, and Shinsuke was suddenly reminded that Osamu was, in fact, a chef. 

Osamu leaned over the counter and said, “Kids, dinner!”

As Shinsuke settled on the dining table with a rumpled Atsumu and Sakusa, Osamu served them with a unique kind of grace that he couldn’t help but admire. Shinsuke watched his strong forearms flex with the weight of the bowls.

Then Atsumu said, innocently, “If we’re the kids, are you two the domestic married couple?”

It was interesting how Osamu spluttered and turned red. “Shut your mouth and eat, you useless brother.”

Sakusa was looking at Shinsuke contemplatively now. It was still impossible to figure out what he was thinking.

After dinner, Atsumu started to clean up, and Sakusa stood to help him. Shinsuke and Osamu left them to it, and headed to the living room.

“You alright with this?” Osamu asked in a low voice, when they were settled beside each other.

“I’m fine,” he assured. “Though I’m pretty sure Sakusa-kun doesn’t like me.”

Osamu snorted. “He doesn’t like anybody, not even Tsumu sometimes.”

“What a difficult man,” he mused.

Osamu laughed. “Don’t I know it. He’s exactly what a jerk like Atsumu deserves. They can just drive each other nuts and spare us all from having to deal with them.”

“That sounds like an accurate description of their relationship. Sounds exhausting though.”

“They’re so used to it, it's easy as breathing for them. Those weirdos.”

It got Shinsuke thinking about what a relationship was supposed to be like. He’d only ever been with Atsumu and that didn’t even go far. He wasn’t sure if that should even count.

“Osamu, what was your relationship like with Suna?”

Blinking, Osamu said, “Er, well...Easy, I suppose? Too easy, honestly.”

“Is there such a thing?”

“Trust me, there is. We weren’t fighting, sure, that’s great. But there came a point where it felt like we had nothing to talk about either. Communication is key, you know? And it takes many forms, verbal, non-verbal, even Atsumu and Omi-kun’s weird bickering and fighting count. Those last months with Rin, hell maybe even the entire last year, we’d talk on the phone but it was like we weren’t saying anything. Does that make sense?”

“I think so.”

“It just felt like we were just reporting about what happened in our day. I knew what he ate for lunch, but didn’t know if he enjoyed it, if he had finally developed a taste for curry, or if he’d ever want to take me to that restaurant one day. I’d tell him about Tsumu staying with me, but not about how bad he’d been handling things, how bad _I’d_ been handling things. It just felt too private to share. But I was supposed to share everything with him, wasn’t I? The calls became a chore, instead of being the thing that helped me wind down at the end of the day. It was a pretty hellish day when I realized I didn’t enjoy conversations with him anymore.”

“That sounds sad.”

“Yeah. When I think about it now, I wonder if we stayed together because we were scared to be lonely. Or if the long distance really did us in. Or we just didn’t try hard enough, or didn’t want it enough to try. I don’t know. But I knew there was probably someone better out there for both of us. So I ended it. He didn’t even protest. Just acted like he knew it was coming. And I realized our relationship went from easy to dead a long time ago.”

That made Shinsuke frown. “I don’t know about him, but I’d be pretty upset if that were me. I’d at least try to figure out what was wrong, maybe try to fix it if it were possible.”

“That’s because you’re a nice person, Kita, and you don’t mind the hard work.”

“Nice is boring, though.” Nice didn’t win over Atsumu. He went for the literal _opposite_ of nice.

“Nice is underrated.” Osamu smiled at him. “Nice is easy. The good kind of easy.”

Shinsuke smiled back, warmed.

In the comfortable silence that followed, it occurred to Shinsuke that the other two weren’t there yet. He craned his head and saw Atsumu and Sakusa lounging against the counter, eating popcorn and watching them.

“What are you two doing there? Come over here so we can watch a movie,” Shinsuke said.

“What we’re watching is far more interesting than any movie,” Atsumu said. “Right, Omi-Omi?”

Sakusa nodded. “You were right.” He placed a popcorn in his mouth delicately.

“About what?” Osamu scowled at them. “Get over here already!”

“Nah, we’re turning in. Thanks for dinner, goodnight.” Atsumu grabbed the popcorn and led Sakusa to his room. They whispered and snickered until they shut the door behind them.

“I hate those two,” Osamu complained. “I swear they’re the only ones who understand each other.”

“I think it would be nice to have someone understand me that way,” Shinsuke smiled wistfully. 

“You’ll find someone, one day. And they’ll be lucky to have you.”

\--

Days and weeks continued to pass. He continued to visit Osamu. They’ve developed a set of activities they liked doing together — cooking, watching movies and analyzing them after, playing scrabble. Sometimes Kita would visit the farm, and if he was free, Osamu would go, too.

It wasn’t like the times when Atsumu would tag along with him. Atsumu, as endearing as he was, was still a giant brat. He wrinkled his nose at the mud and the heat, got restless at the vast nothingness, and got bored with the time doing absolutely nothing. It was obvious that nothing there was of interest to him.

Osamu, however, had always been more laid back and patient than Atsumu. He listened intently as Kita talked about how everything worked, he was polite to the locals and struck conversations with the people who actually did most of the labor, even followed them out in the muddy field when they invited him. Shinsuke watched as Osamu crouched down to study the crops as one of the old farmers explained something to him in detail, nodding to show he was listening.

Something about that made Shinsuke’s heart skip a beat.

The farmers’ families, who were there to welcome Shinsuke, were also taken by him.

“I thought at first you were the same one that used to visit too,” one elderly lady, Hina, said. “But that one didn’t really talk or go out to the fields.”

Osamu grimaced. “I am so sorry about him. He was just going through some stuff.”

“It’s fine, it wasn’t like he was rude or anything. He just looked like he’d rather be elsewhere.” Yeah. Beside Sakusa.

When they were preparing to leave and Osamu was being fawned over by the ladies, Hina appeared beside Shinsuke. “That one’s a keeper,” she teased.

“Eh, what?” Shinsuke flushed.

“They look alike, sure. They’re both handsome. But this one’s a lot nicer and seems more at pace with you. Go get him, boy.”

“I — it’s not like that,” he said, feeling flustered.

Hina gave him a knowing glance. “Isn’t it?” She winked then left.

It wasn’t. Right?

\--

One day, Osamu called and asked him why he wasn’t around, especially because the shop was closed and they could actually spend time together. He replied that he was visiting his family, and Osamu asked if he could tag along.

Osamu arrived in his apartment carrying food. Of course.

“Samu,” he sighed.

“I can’t not bring anything! Don’t protest, let’s just go.”

His parents raised their eyebrows at his surprise guest, but welcomed him warmly, immediately taken by his courteousness.

“You’re one of the Miya twins? Really? Shin used to rant about you back in high school. Shin, are you sure?” his mother teased.

Osamu laughed. “I unfortunately am one of those Miya twins. The other one still plays volleyball, I’m sure you know. Well, plays again.”

“Yes, we did wonder where he went off to, but I did hear he’s been around town.”

Shinsuke was suddenly glad he never told them about his brief entanglement with Atsumu. He gave Osamu a look meant to convey, _don’t tell them_. Osamu looked like he understood, at least.

“Fortunately, they’ve both grown up,” he told his parents. “They’re easier to tolerate now.”

His grandmother, though, more than tolerated Osamu. She _adored_ him.

Shinsuke was warmed by the way Osamu painstakingly described how he makes his onigiri, telling her he gets his rice from Shinsuke’s farm, and amusing her with stories about unreasonable customers.

When they were about to leave, his grandmother hugged him and whispered, “I like him. I think a spring wedding would be nice.”

_“What?”_

“Don’t act silly. Now go on, go back home with your man.”

On their way back home ( _home_ , his bran whispered) Shinsuke lied and told Osamu that the spicy onigiri he had for lunch was the reason for his flushed cheeks.

\--

Shinsuke couldn’t stop thinking about it. When did Osamu take up a permanent residence in his life? In his mind? His every waking thought was about him.

He thought of scrabble nights with Osamu, just the two of them, of movie nights forgetting to press play because they were caught in long conversations, of Osamu fitting right in the farm like he belonged there.

He thought of Osamu’s smiles, the way they weren’t blinding like Atsumu’s, but the light in his eyes made it look like he was glowing. His kindness always shone through. His hands were always sure, gentle. And he looked _really_ good in the kitchen.

He wondered when the _x_ occurred for this _y_ to happen. How could it have happened so quietly that he didn’t notice?

Falling in love with Osamu was the opposite of falling in love with Atsumu. His universe didn’t spin with one impulsive kiss, not this time. Instead, his universe changed so gradually that he just realized one day that things were brighter. Things were _right_.

Just because Osamu was there.

For once, Shinsuke was unsure of what to do. He’d never been one to run away when faced with a conundrum, but this was Osamu. Feelings or not, Shinsuke had already integrated him as part of his life, his routines. If he didn’t feel the same way, it would bring a change that he wasn’t prepared to handle.

\--

The push, ironically enough, came from Sakusa of all people.

On weekends, Atsumu was in the apartment. If his schedule permitted it, Sakusa was there too. There wasn’t anything awkward or uncomfortable about spending time with them anymore. And Sakusa seemed to hate him less.

“I told ya, he doesn’t hate you,” Atsumu assured one morning as he prepared breakfast. Sakusa was still sleeping in Atsumu’s room.

“So he really glares at everyone?”

“Oh, yes.” His voice sounded fond. “He has a resting glaring face.”

“I am telling you, he really hated me in the beginning.”

“Yeah, he told me, but that was then,” Atsumu insisted. “He was just jealous. But everything’s fine now. By the way, not to be rude, but why are you here and where is Osamu?”

“I slept over. We watched movies last night. And Osamu had to stop by the shop real quick.”

It started with them watching a Star Trek movie, but they both got hooked and ended up watching the next two in the franchise. Well, they tried.

Shinsuke had woken up that morning cuddled into Osamu’s side, tucked under a strong, heavy arm. He had been instantly awake, his heart pounding in his throat, his nerves alight with adrenaline. When he tried to move, Osamu woke up too, and he stammered and apologized and said he had to go to the shop, even though it was closed on Sundays. He disappeared into the bathroom and then to his room, and he was out the door not 10 minutes later.

Atsumu let out a long hum, and Shinsuke realized with a jolt that Atsumu probably _knew_.

Before Shinsuke could decide whether to bring it up with him, a sleepy Sakusa shuffled into the kitchen.

“Morning, love,” Atsumu greeted.

Sakusa went to him, plastering himself against Atsumu’s back. “You left.”

“I’m making you breakfast, you weren’t supposed to wake.”

“Cold.”

“Poor baby,” Atsumu said, turning to coddle Sakusa.

Shinsuke watched them, bemused, still not used to a normally stoic, intimidating, 6’4” tall man acting like a giant cat. “I still find this extremely strange,” he couldn’t help but say.

“He’s my baby,” Atsumu said, like that explained everything.

Maybe it only made sense to them.

Atsumu served the food, and said he had to call Foster about something. It was March — the V. League was about to finish its run, and they were preparing to announce Atsumu’s comeback. They were waiting until the season was over, so as not to distract from the games. Atsumu has yet to make any public appearance of any sort. But they wanted him there with them should they reach the championships.

“I don’t hate you.”

Shinsuke blinked at Sakusa, who was nursing his tea. He hasn’t touched his food. He was probably waiting for Atsumu to return.

“Not anymore,” Sakusa clarified. He must have overheard their conversation.

“I’m — glad to hear that,” Shinsuke admitted.

“I had no right to hate you anyway. But I’m always irrational when it comes to Atsumu.”

“You don’t seem like a naturally irrational person.”

Sakusa sighed. “I’m really not. Atsumu drives me crazy, he always has.”

“Why Atsumu, then? I mean...you could probably have anyone else. Who won’t drive you crazy. Isn’t that stressful?”

Sakusa looked at him like his question didn’t make sense. “It’s only Atsumu for me.”

There was a question burning at the tip of Shinsuke’s tongue. He decided to risk it. “When you — left. Did you already know? That you wouldn’t love anyone else?”

Sakusa shrugged. “Yes.”

“Oh,” he sighed. “You were just as bad as each other then. I wondered.”

“Why?” Sakusa looked curious now.

“Because he never had any intention of unloving you either.”

Sakusa blinked at him. Then he smiled down at his tea. “What an idiot.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how did you know you loved Atsumu?”

“The spark was there from the start. But attraction isn’t love, so I suppose that’s not what you’re asking.” Sakusa studied him. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just…trying to figure something out.”

“Ah.” He looked like he understood, and Shinsuke realized that of course Sakusa already knew, too. “It was when I realized he made room for me. When he adjusted his life to make it comfortable for me to fit there. Cleaning, making sure surfaces are disinfected, carrying an extra coat when we go out because I might need it but I was too stubborn to bring one myself. I always end up needing it.”

“I see.”

As blunt as ever, Sakusa said, “Is this about Osamu?”

Even just the name made his heart race. “I—yes.”

“So you finally figured it out.”

“I don’t know what to do.” And he didn’t know why he was opening up to Sakusa of all people.

“Honestly, Atsumu and I aren’t the prime example of a perfect couple, so you probably shouldn’t be asking us but — after everything that happened, I can tell you that when two people love each other enough they’ll figure out how to make things work.”

“I’m not sure if it would be a good idea to even try this.”

Sakusa rubbed an eyebrow and muttered something like, “Why me.” Then he looked straight at Shinsuke with his piercing dark eyes. “Kita-san, when you think about your future, what do you see?”

“Well...the farm is the main thing, of course. Some hobbies, my routines. My life is pretty boring.”

“And is there no one, no one at all, that you can imagine fitting in there?”

Shinsuke simply stared back at Sakusa, both of them already knowing the answer. That there was already someone that fit just right.

“It just can’t be,” he said finally.

“It is what it is,” Sakusa said. In a louder voice, he said, “Tsumu, stop eavesdropping, let’s eat.”

Shinsuke turned his head to watch Atsumu walk back in, sheepish. “I didn’t want to interrupt your bonding moment.”

“Eavesdropping is rude,” Shinsuke scolded automatically, thoughts still racing.

Atsumu flopped down beside Sakusa. “Figured it out, huh?”

“Did everyone know but me?”

“Pretty sure Samu doesn’t know. He’s dumb like that. But anyone who sees you two together would think you two were married or some shit.”

Shinsuke groaned and placed a hand over his face. He hardly ever got worked up for anything, but his chest was pounding and he could feel his heartbeat all the way up to his head.

“Why did I have to fall in love with _both_ Miya twins? High school Kita is laughing at me.”

There was a beat, then Sakusa and Atsumu started laughing.

When they were all calmer, Sakusa said in a surprisingly soft voice, “It will be worth it. Trust me.”

Watching Atsumu cradle Sakusa’s face and kiss him sweetly on the mouth, Shinsuke thought it might just be.

It might just be worth it putting his heart on the line for the second time.

\--

Later, when Sakusa retreated back to Atsumu’s room, Atsumu cleared his throat. They were still on the table and Shinsuke was suddenly reminded of that painful day when everything between them ended.

“Kita…” Atsumu began. “I know I’ve apologized a hundred times, but no apology will make up for the way I hurt you. And I know you say it couldn’t be helped and it’s all fine now but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest.”

Shinsuke braced himself and said, “Alright.”

“When you asked me that day, if I wanted to end it...there was a moment where I was tempted to say no, and I knew we could have continued to try, and you would have continued to love me. And I thought, maybe one day everything would be fine because you’d be able to fix me. But I also knew back then that saying so would just be a _crime_. Because that was the easiest way out for me, but the hardest path for _you_. You deserved better. You deserved someone who could give you their whole heart. And that wasn’t me, Kita. You deserved a partner, not someone who would use you as medicine.”

Atsumu rubbed a hand over his face and he suddenly looked older. More mature. He continued, “You gave and gave and I took and took. That’s not how relationships are supposed to be. Back then, I couldn’t help myself, but once I’ve had time and space to think about my actions, I just felt shitty. So don’t blame yourself for how things went down, don’t tell yourself that you should have known better. Because a lot of that was on me. And you were...the strongest person to be able to walk away.”

“It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do,” Shinsuke choked out.

“And I’m sorry to have to make you do it. It just wasn’t fair to you anymore. It wasn’t right.”

Shinsuke took a deep breath, recentering himself. He nodded. “It took some time but I understand that now. I could be quite stubborn,” he chuckled. “I didn’t want to accept that I was wrong. That I couldn’t fix you and that I needed to give up on you. Before that relationship, you were still my old teammate. I loved you. It hurt me to see you hurt. I confused the lines and boundaries and it just turned into one big mess.”

Atsumu shrugged. “I’ve learned that when things break, the pieces can turn into something completely different but still beautiful. Omi and I had to break what we had so we could rebuild it into something better, something more stable. I brought this up because I wanted to tell you that maybe you’ve found something worth building from the pieces too.” Atsumu smiled at him.

Shinsuke smiled back weakly. “Are you giving me your blessing?”

“I don’t think I have a right to give any sort of opinion on your love life, honestly. But…” Atsumu hesitated. “I haven’t been there for Osamu, not the way he’d been there for me. He had to deal with that breakup with Rin alone, even though I was right there. So this thing with you...even if you decide not to pursue a relationship, seeing you two happy in each other’s company makes me happy. I don’t like thinking about Samu alone. I know he’s just fine, but still. I’m not here much anymore, you know? I try my best to visit as often as I could but it’s not the same. I’m sad about that, but I know it makes him sadder. Because I was all he had. But...that’s not the case anymore. So thank you, Kita. No matter what you decide, please take care of my brother.”

Shinsuke wiped tears from his eyes. “I hate you two and how you make me cry. I think I preferred when you were always just fighting.”

“We still do that…we still can —”

“Don’t.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you Atsumu. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear it. But I had to say it, before you leave all this behind completely.”

“I think I can do that now without regrets.”

“Then I’m glad.”

\--

It took a few minutes to work up the courage to knock on the door. _It’s just Osamu,_ he scolded himself. _You’re just going to watch a volleyball game._

He had honestly never been so out of sorts his whole _life_.

When Osamu answered the door, Shinsuke was accosted by the sight of ruffled dark hair, broad shoulders and thick biceps straining against a thin sweater. Osamu had rolled up his sleeves and Shinsuke’s eyes couldn’t help but linger on his forearms.

“Hi,” Osamu smiled and it set Shinsuke’s heart racing again. “You could’ve just come in, you know.”

Shinsuke shrugged silently, and made his way in.

It was the final match of the season, and everyone was hyped up because once again, it was the MSBY Black Jackals against the Schweiden Adlers.

But Shinsuke and Osamu were excited about one other thing: Atsumu was finally going to make a public appearance.

He won’t be playing, of course. But he will be there as part of the team, watching the game on the sidelines.

Osamu had prepared food, of course, and they settled down in the living room and turned on the live broadcast. The match hadn't begun, but the television was showing the packed stadium, and the commentators were talking about how Sakusa, Hinata, and Bokuto all returned to their old team to play this season, and now they were against their old rivals.

“Oh man, if you only knew who else came back,” Osamu laughed. “But they’ll find out in a minute. Man, I’m actually so excited, I can’t keep still.”

They knew Atsumu had been anxious about this, because he’d been gone from the game and the public eye for far too long. He kept pouting and whining and generally stressing all of them out, about how _everyone’s probably already forgotten me, this is tragic._

“Your New Year’s post literally made news headlines, shut the fuck up,” Osamu had told him.

But Atsumu had always been prone to being insecure, and his vanity was still as headache-inducing as ever.

One commentator announced that the match was starting soon and the teams were expected to come in any second.

Then there was a murmuring in the crowd.

“Wait, what’s this?” a male commentator said, just as cheers started to build in the stadium.

The stream then switched to a camera on the ground and there, in all his glory, was Miya Atsumu. He had entered the court and was making his way to the courtside bench, flanked by Samson Foster, the assistant coaches, and the second string players. He was wearing black jeans and a black sweater under the Jackal’s tan winter coat, making it clear that he wasn’t playing.

The commentators lost it.

“Oh ho!” 

“Oh my god.”

“That is Miya Atsumu, everyone! In the flesh!”

“We certainly didn’t expect this!”

“Look, the crowd is losing it.”

The livestream showed the crowd on the MSBY Black Jackals side screaming and clapping. Drum beats started to sound and everyone started chanting, “Mi-ya, Mi-ya” in time to the beat.

Osamu laughed, thrilled.

The stream then showed a close up of Atsumu’s face, and Shinsuke laughed at the mental image of a cameraman tripping over himself to get close.

Atsumu was smiling beatifically. He was looking out into the crowd in amazement, waving a hand weakly, like he was in shock.

And then it seemed like the whole stadium was chanting his name and Miya Atsumu was slowly brought to life. He smirked cockily and pointed a finger at the sky, pumping his arm in time with the chanting. He seemed to soak up all the attention, spinning slowly as he walked as if he wanted to see the whole stadium screaming his name. _Yes, it’s me. Yes, I’m back._

“There he is,” one commentator laughed.

“Always the crowd favorite,” the other said.

“I can’t believe it.”

“Doesn’t look like he’ll be playing, though. That’s not allowed, is it? So he’s just gonna watch.”

“No better time to announce his comeback. I bet he didn’t wanna miss this either. It’s been, what, a year since he disappeared? More?”

“A year and half, yes. Nobody’s seen him for far too long. I honestly thought he’d never return. That was a long hiatus.”

“We still don’t know what that was about.”

“Guess we’ll find out later.”

When Atsumu reached the bench, he pressed his hands together and bowed his head, looking overcome. Then he sat down, and Foster patted him on the shoulder, sitting beside him.

“I told him he had nothing to worry about,” Osamu said.

Shinsuke glanced at the man beside him, his heart melting at the fiercely proud expression on his face. He had watched these twins argue and fight and bicker in high school. To see how much they actually did love each other made his heart ache in fondness.

He wondered when he started seeing them as family.

“He really was born to be in the spotlight,” Shinsuke mused. Atsumu was a star.

And then the starting players were announced one by one, and they each jogged their way over to the court. They proceeded to have warm ups, then last minute huddles. 

Then the game started.

It was explosive from the start, as both teams alternated in taking a set. Hinata was a crazy presence on the court as always, and Ushijima’s spikes only got stronger, if that was possible.

Osamu whooped and cheered beside him, and he couldn’t help but be carried away, too. They were both quite literally on the edge of their seats.

Sometimes, the television showed Atsumu’s face after his team scored a point. But the best one was when Sakusa scored a point after a long rally and Atsumu was shown grinning proudly and cheering, clapping enthusiastically.

“This is definitely going to kickstart the rumors again,” Shinsuke said.

“Their fans are gonna lose their minds,” Osamu agreed. “Shit, I don’t even know what they’re planning on saying in the press conferences. Whatever, I’m gonna lie back and enjoy their mess.”

When the Black Jackals were at match point and the rally went on and on with many close calls, Osamu reached out and gripped Shinsuke’s bicep, muttering “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”

And when Sakusa scored the winning point, they both jumped out of their seats cheering. Osamu crushed Shinsuke in a hug and Shinsuke hugged him back, both carried away by excitement.

When they both realized what they were doing, they pulled apart quickly and went back to their seats, avoiding each other’s eyes.

“And the Black Jackals emerge as the champions!” a commentator cheered.

On screen, Atsumu was jumping up and down, shaking a grinning, but long-suffering Foster. Then the stream switched to show that Sakusa had crossed the court and was being shaken and patted on the back by the members of the Adlers.

“It’s been a while since they won a championship, but it looks like they’re back on track,” the other commentator was saying.

“When Miya is back on court, they’ll really be a force to reckon with.”

“Now we just need Kageyama Tobio to return to the Adlers and the monster generation will be complete and butting heads again.”

“Oh, look, Miya and Sakusa are hugging,” a commentator said suddenly.

“Is the fairytale back on?” the other laughed.

The cameras had in fact zoomed in to Atsumu hugging Sakusa by the bench, surrounded by their rowdy teammates. He seemed to be saying something to him, rubbing his back. When they let go of each other, the camera focused the camera on Sakusa, who was smiling as he wiped his forehead. The commentators started discussing their relationship as the screen started replaying the best moments in slow motion.

“They never confirmed the split, did they?”

“No, but it was the logical assumption. Sakusa transferred teams, Miya dropped off the map, no social media posts about them whatsoever.”

“They must have taken it hard, if they did break up.”

“The Black Jackals took it harder, it lost its two best players.”

“Yikes.”

“But now, what a comeback from the Black Jackals. MSBY 4 is complete, everybody.”

As the whole thing started winding down, the commentators started wrapping it up.

Osamu turned off the television and slumped back into the couch. “That was exhausting to watch.”

“Only because you were so invested,” Shinsuke teased.

“You were, too! Admit it, you still love the game, Cap.”

“Of course, I met the best people there.”

Osamu stared at him, eyes wide. 

“Okay, maybe just the best person. I wouldn’t call Atsumu one of the best people on earth.”

That got a smile out of Osamu but it was softer than usual. “You’re still the best of us, Kita.”

He shook his head. Osamu had always put him on a pedestal, which he never thought he deserved. “That’s just your old respect for your captain speaking.”

“No, that’s not it. You’re a good person.”

“I’m just ordinary.” An ordinary person who stumbled into a sea of stars. And the brightest of them all was sitting right beside him.

Osamu reached a hand out towards him. He hesitated, then placed careful fingers on his cheek. Shinsuke’s heart leapt to his throat. 

“I have never met a person who’s so _here_ in the present all the time. Who cherishes doing every tiny thing, who sees the beauty in even the most broken people and still finds something to save. You’re a _good_ person, Kita. And I have never met a person like you.”

Floored, Shinsuke searched Osamu’s face and saw only sincerity. His eyes caught the way his throat bobbed, and he realized the ever-cool Osamu wasn’t entirely unaffected.

It gave him courage. Shinsuke slowly pressed a trembling hand against Osamu’s chest, sliding it up a little so that his fingertips rested against the base of his throat, where he could feel his thundering heartbeat.

“Kita,” Osamu said in a low voice that made something clench in his stomach. It was a warning. “You must know what you’re doing to me.”

The words set off something in Shinsuke and for the second time in his life, he reacted impulsively.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against Osamu.

The moment he made contact, he took back everything he ever thought about Osamu being safe. There was nothing safe about the way he consumed Shinsuke, any trepidation tossed out of the window, as his strong hands gripped Shinsuke’s face. Osamu kissed him like he was trying to devour him, and Shinsuke must have lost all his sense of reason because he thought he would gladly let him.

He kissed Shinsuke like he wanted him.

They started losing track of time. Osamu slowly pressed against him until he was pinned beneath him on the couch. Shinsuke felt as if his every nerve ending was on fire. He felt hungry, desperate — he’s never felt quite like this. And he’s never seen Osamu this out of control either.

When he hitched a leg over Osamu’s waist, the other man jerked against him hard and tried to balance himself by throwing out an arm. But the movement already off-balanced him, and Osamu slipped over the couch, dragging Shinsuke, who was hopelessly entangled with him, to the floor. They barely missed the kotatsu table.

“Oof!” For a moment, Shinsuke’s world spun. Dizzily, he hoped he wasn’t crushing Osamu.

“Shit,” Osamu grunted. “Sorry. Kita, you alright?” He gazed up at Shinsuke, hands a sweltering presence on Shinsuke’s waist.

“Fine,” he said breathlessly.

Osamu kept staring at Kita’s face. In a serious tone, he said. “I’m not him, you know. We look the same, but that’s where the similarities end.”

Did Osamu really think Shinsuke was thinking of Atsumu right now, or at any point in the past few minutes? Days? _Months_?

“Did I ever mistake either of you for the other in all the years I’ve known you? Give your old captain some credit.” He pushed himself up and sat straddling Osamu’s legs. He was feeling reckless, and very much not like himself. Or most like himself, he didn’t know. He pressed a hand against Osamu’s stomach. “I know exactly what you are and what you’re not. And I want all that you are.”

Osamu let his head thunk back on the floor, and groaned. Eyes closed, he said, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. But it’s shitty to have feelings for your twin brother’s ex, isn’t it?”

Shinsuke leaned forward and braced his hands on either side of Osamu’s head. “I suppose it should also be ‘shitty’ to have feelings for you ex’s twin brother,” he murmured. “But it doesn’t feel that way, though. Does it?”

Osamu opened his eyes and met his gaze. Softly, he said, “No. It feels right.”

“Besides, Atsumu is fine with it, happy about it, even. He knows. And Sakusa-kun actually helped me realize a few things.”

Osamu’s expression turned skeptical. “Sakusa?”

“And Atsumu.”

“Sakusa.”

Shinsuke nodded, fighting down a smile. “I think we might actually one day be friends.”

“ _Sakusa_?”

Shinsuke laughed. “He said he doesn’t hate me anymore.”

Osamu looked nonplussed. “That man has one of the shittiest personalities I have _ever_ come across.”

“They deserve each other then.”

“Definitely.”

“And...we deserve each other, too, don’t you think?”

Osamu inhaled deeply. “Kita, I don’t think there’s anything in the world I could do to deserve you.”

“Stop with that kind of thinking, seriously.”

“You’re just so good,” Osamu murmured, reaching up and drawing Shinsuke down so he could hold him. Shinsuke adjusted so he could hold him right back. Osamu nuzzled his cheek. “I keep praying that life would continue to be kind to such a gentle soul. I think I would do almost anything to keep you happy and content.”

“Do that then.”

“That an order, captain?”

“It is.”

Osamu laughed. “Alright, then.”

\--

Atsumu found out in what was probably the (second to the) worst possible way.

He had been busy doing media rounds with the Black Jackals, so they hadn’t seen him in days. But once he was free, he came back home without warning.

Shinsuke and Osamu were in bed sleeping, without a stitch of clothing on, or even a blanket covering them. They were awoken by a door banging open and a voice saying, “Samu, guess what — what…” then Atsumu screamed and there was the sound of footsteps thundering away.

Sakusa’s alarmed voice said, “What, what is it?”

There was no time to even move. Sakusa was suddenly in the doorway and he paled at the sight of them. “Ew, Jesus fuck —” then he spun on his heels and walked quickly away.

Shinsuke and Osamu stared at each other in confused shock. Then Osamu started laughing and disentangling himself from Kita’s limbs.

“I keep fucking telling him to stop barging into people’s rooms. What a fucking idiot. I’ll go get them.”

Shinsuke got up, too. They quickly pulled on some clothes and warily left the room.

There was no one in the apartment but the door was accidentally left wide open. They went out.

Atsumu and Sakusa were sitting on the stairs leading down to the building’s exit. Atsumu had his face planted against Sakusa’s chest, wailing.

“...saw Samu’s junk,” he was sobbing. “It’s gross, Omi-Omi.”

Sakusa sighed and patted him on the back.

“Can you stop being fucking dramatic?” Osamu said, approaching.

“Go away!” Atsumu screamed. “Gross! I can never look at you the same way again!”

“We literally used to shower together as kids,” Osamu said in an exaggerated slow voice. “We got dressed in the same locker room until high school!”

“But that was all innocent! This is not! It’s like accidentally catching your parents have sex!” He suddenly quieted, and even Osamu blanched. “Ugh! Mental bleach!”

“Why’d you have to say that,” Osamu said, massaging his temple. “Whatever, can you two stop being idiots and get inside? Do you want us to be kicked out of the damn building? Jesus.”

Osamu turned and led Shinsuke back into the apartment, closing the door. He headed to the kitchen, and Shinsuke followed, settling on a bar stool by the counter.

After a few minutes, Atsumu and Sakusa slunk back in.

“I’m moving out,” Atsumu said darkly. “And I’m moving back in with Omi-Omi.”

Sakusa seemed pleased by this.

“Congratulations,” Shinsuke said in a pacifying tone. “But you don’t need to move out. It’s still your place.”

“And catch you two being gross?” Atsumu made a face. “I’m traumatized for life already. I’ll visit but I ain’t staying.”

Osamu rolled his eyes from where he was reheating food. “Do what you want, brat.”

Atsumu and Sakusa settled on the kitchen table, and Shinsuke went to join them.

“When did it happen?” Sakusa asked him.

“Just a few days ago. After your match, actually. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you. And congratulations, too.”

Osamu was staring at them as if he wasn’t sure he was in the waking world.

“Bet you had to make the first move, didn’t ya?” Atsumu asked him. “Samu would never.”

He got a smack over the head from Osamu for that. Shinsuke simply said, “Yes.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Osamu interrupted. “Or I won’t feed you all.”

Atsumu pouted, but cheered up when Sakusa reminded him to tell them all about his comeback.

As Atsumu and Sakusa went on to regale them about what’s been happening in their fast world, Shinsuke thought of planets in their orbits and how maybe they weren’t that hard to reach at all.

This, right here, it felt like he finally found a place in the wide universe he can call his own. Surrounded by a sea of stars, he felt right at home.

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally made myself ship OsaKita writing this. Took me forever to finish though, I kept yelling at them to JUST KISS DAMMIT! Sorry if it's not that good, it's my first time to write these characters in depth hahahaaaa I HATE IT JUST TAKE IT I AM NEVER LOOKING AT THIS AGAIN


End file.
